It is reported that with couples who have been married for more than seven years, the absence of laughter predicts the likelihood of divorce far more than the presence of outright animosity. In other words, the positive emotions of laughter are stronger in their effects than the negative emotions of disharmony.
So if you’re cruising along in a long-term relationship, in a day-to-day complacency, with a low level of passion, yet with no real discord, without the sounds of joyful laughter, that should be a BIG RED FLAG. Something crucial to a healthy relationship is missing.
Of all the issues we need to be aware of in relationships: honesty, integrity, spending enough time together, good communication, common values, I am pleased to see that creating consistent joy is an essential ingredient.
Far too often joy is not something we attend to. Priorities are work, responsibilities, family obligations; even vacations don’t always involve a lot of genuine joyfulness. It seems to be enough to just get away to another place. Being truly joyful in the experience isn’t always expected.
Laughter is the stuff of life, of really living life. It’s an important element in keeping the people we love, glued to us. Dacher Keltner, psychology professor at University of California, Berkeley, says “Our relationships are only as good as our histories of laughter together”.
1 comment:
I knew I was in love with my last LTR/LDR girl when we could both laugh over ordering the "dessert sushi" and both hating it! :-)
I also know my LTR/LDR was over when she didn't call to complain about her day at work one evening, and to have me help cheer her up over what had made her work day so frustrating for her.
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